| Writings |
Rae |
Past |
Visuals |
But if your heart's not in it, for real.
Please dont try to fake what you dont feel.
If love's already gone,
Its not fair to lead me on.
Cause, i would give the whole world, for you.
Anything you'd ask of me, i'll do.
But i wont ask you to say,
I'd rather walk away.
If your heart's not in it.
you made me really irritated. damn, i was wrong abt everything. i thought God was giving me a chance. He was trying to tell me something. looks like i misunderstood.
i'm supposed to be mugging right now. apparently, i'm affected by last night.
love hurts okay? its drives pple to self-mutilation, i've seen so many faces of love. since when did it end wif a happy ending? fairy tales? i dont believe in fairy tales anymore. i dont want to love anymore.
whats wid me huh. damn.
i'm going crazy. there's this screaming voice in me, telling me i should change my template. despite it being exam period. all the time wasted just to think of one stupid template, and coming up wid the html. . . i shall be guai and change it after exams. in the meantime, LET ME SCREAMM. raaaahhhh.
i think i'm going crazy. wait, i already am.
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M FAT, SO THAT I CAN STOP EATING SO MUCH?!?!
i think i better go. blogger's not the place for me to scream. COS YOU CANT HEAR THEM AT ALL.
i can hereby conclude that i didnt know how to do 80% of my chinese paper2 today. damn, it was so freaking screwed up. whats all the shit abt trying to get an A1 for the chinesejune paper. yea, big talk man. when all i do is to give up and go to sleep.
and as i'm sitting her typing my entries, i'm satisfying her(s) around me, damn the mosquitos.
smile like you mean it. pretend that you're happy. act like you care.
i think tanying's hair IS DAMN NICE LA. i like the way she present herself. maybe i should be pl/a too! WAHAHAHA.this is total maddness.
tomorrow is my english paper. and i'm wasting my time, admiring tanying, even though i ought to be reading my oxford dictionary. call me crazy, ha. i'm so tired of languages.
history remedial after the paper. i was hoping lizah wld get us some pizza!
digressing, i'm missing her.=( somehow, i miss those times. will get over them la.
i think i've been eating too much nowadays. apparently, my appetite came back. which for course, is bad news!
wanna be is playing in the background again. this song is so damn meaningful la. i dont seem to get enough of it.
i think self-mutilating is an absolutely foolish. why was i stupid enough to indulge myself in such actions. i would rather tatoo. speaking abt that, i want another one so much! at my ankle please. perhaps i'll do one at the end of they year. as a birthday present to myself i guess.
i think i'm an attention-seeking bitch. here comes all the negative thoughts. and the tempermental moodswings. i really dont know what's wrong wif me la.
HELL, GET THIS DAMN MOOD OF ME NOW.
got to go. before i expose the really ugly side of me while moodswing. =(
apparently, my dearest sister joleen and ganma wanru thinks my kor is a guy. and i'm in love wif my kor. KOR IS FELICIA CHEW CHIN CHIN la! who is register no4 of sec4/o i'm number5. kor is a girl. i'm not in love. hey wait! i am. wif noviaaw. YIKES!
went mad jumping! for what?! CHRIS CHAN la. me and kor spotted him at the third level from up above. and we got real excited. and started jumping, chanting: WE LOVE CHRIS. WE LOVE CHRIS! hahaha! until laowu came and ask what happened to us, why we were screaming and jumping and stuff. HAHAHAHA.roars-
tomorrow is my first paper for my mids. wish me luck man! i hope i wont frozen to death in the hall. or fall asleep while doing the paper. or write in hanyupinying cos i dont know how to write the chinese character. i hope i wont come up with childish and simple zaojue which is of primary school standard. most importantly, i hope i can finish studying by tonight la! =(((
cai yilin, i miss you la!
how wonderful life is, now you're in the world.=)
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i think i'm getting tired of this template. damn.
you're all that fills my head. let me listen to yr heartbeat again. // all the things you said, running through my head.
am so in a dreamy mood now! hell, i'm tired. and i guess i wont be catching any sleep tonight. and you are going to force me to sleep again right?! =)))
i refuse to remove the black colour on my pinkie! lalala.
craziness over chris wasnt that bad today. on a lighter note, i was REALLY bad today. yes, i'm a sleeping beauty. who refuses to wake up no matter how many times lavina calls me to.
i love laopang. but i hate chinese.
i felt so sad for cheng. its like kor and bitch screamed at her today. until she cried?!?! good thing she still has me! haha. curly bob.
good news: i've been eating my breakfast, recess, lunch, dinner for the past 2 days.
i dont know why, i cant stop thinking of you.
hurray! i got milk duds to eat.
today's entry is just crap.
did you think i ever lead you wrong?
apparently, i dont seem to get sick of really great songs. for example, wanna be! damn, the song's stuck in my head for weeks alr!
WE LOVE CHRIS. ccfc forever?! haha! me and kor went crazy over chris today. >.< dont give me that look! ccfc. stands for: chris chan fan club! the thought of it makes me want to laugh nonstop okay.
i think i look horrible today. okay, i look horrible everyday. but today was especially bad. lets see, i could have taken the precious time to memorise venice or something. but instead i just laid on my bed and daze. till i fall asleep (finally) thanks to your method!
my bitch told me she wants to settle down, and stop flirting. haha, and we bitch and bitch. and decided that singlehood's still the best. i really wonder how she could tolerate me today. when me and kor went geegee gaga over chris.and our fanclub. not to mention, my craziness everyday. she spiced up my sec4 life in cedar so much!
saw her, ran away. i'm shy! =)
damn, suddenly i become so sad. though i dont really know her, but she's damn cute?! i didnt get to say bye. . . =(((
apparently, all the sad memories come flooding back to me like shit. plus, wanna be playing in the background.
you brought me here, you wet my taste, you disappear without a trace.
baby, sometimes love just aint enough.
yes i flirt too much.
i think i'm falling for jason. right bung? hoho. i like that yellow flower on yr head. X)
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i cant take the shock. but nevermind,
i look at the world ard me, the people, i'm so damn lost.
i'm in love. i like noviaaw. hope she wont see this. cos i'm turning bung for her! and fight over her wif barney. hoho. NOVIA: gullible kid. i'm so pretty, how can i ever turn bung la you! always believe what mingming tell you. so cute. X) ps. i think i should start counting down now for you!
bruised and battered by yr words, dazed and shattered now it hurts.
can you hug me tight?
the urge to have a tongue piercing suddenly surfaced. plus a belly one to enhance my great figure. (HA!) not now though, maybe at the end of the year. but i'm scared of pain! hey, since when did i become so wild. =|
apparently, rae never seemed to stopped thinking abt yesterday. and the speed she experienced. the tiredness at the last part. GET ON WIF LIFE GIRL. ps: i bet tay must be surprised! hoho. i just wannt stop at yesterday. okay okay, i gotta get on. mids ard the corner only.
i miss =)! i predict a lecture from her for slacking.
aiyah!i still cant stop thinking abt yesterday. ENOUGH RACHELCHIN. i want to run the race all over again. hoho.
anyway, THANK YOU ALL MY GARDE CHEERLEADING BABIES. YOU ALL WERE REALLY GREAT! thank you sandra and charmain, for without the both of you, this wouldnt be such a success. and to all the cheerleaders, well done!
to watch the leaves grow on trees with you is out of question.
she is so fast! so freaking fast. she is me. hoho! the best race ever in my life. 4by4 was amazing! visualize my run, focus, pray, focus and say hi to erictan! (sorry to digress) stretch my leg muscles wif a jumpy right before i shot off wif the baton in my hand. nothing was on my mind. nothing, i just ran like crazy. i love pris and sze. and denise who was so good! i love myself today.
against all odds, the garde atmosphere was equally good! great job to elvis.=) my junior treat me to some drink, and i had to promise that i wont cut her eyelashes in the middle of the night! as usual, mr.p sucks. chrischan proved to be top vs runner. he's really fast!
3 hours of sleep yesterday and the day before. do you know how tired i am?!?!
and guess what. I WEIGH BELOW FORTY NOW. was pretty shocked. okkay, damn shocked!
i love my kor, her actions are forever so funny! i love my brother, she's so nice to hug. how much i want a real brother to dote on me!
cheryl leong! i miss you! and yr height.hoho. i shall give you one paragraph today. saw yr friend lijun or yijun. dont know whats her name. had a couple of words wif her. aiyah, why didnt you come back today?! let compare height. HAHA! and make you admit defeat. simpler words: i miss you lots! see, i'm really happy today. WHY GARDE SO PRO? WHY ARE WE SO PRO?!?!
something that made me so mad! brought my camera but low batt la! cant take all the beautiful memories of today. but they'll always be wif me!
wanna be, where you sleep.
jump jump. i'm so hyper now.
as that day approaches, i'm still having doubts on turning up on friday. i just want to run away. i dont want to face failure. yes, i've put up a brave front. i cried everything out. and that i thought i could get over it. but i havent, it still haunts me. how am i going to face my seniors. tell me,
i want to hug you tight again.
i miss mingming and her fats. hoho.
today was pretty bad. feel damn sick during lesson time. perhaps due to the insufficent sleep, plus the skipping of meals. . its not that i want to be slim, its just that i got no appetite to eat. 2.4 run tomorrow. i hope i dont faint.or fall on the old track again. ouch.
as the song plays in the background, i just wanna comment, i dont believe in fairy tales anymore.
my heart feels so tangled up.
i got panda eyes. boo.
tears certainly wont pull the score up. no, it wont. to all of you out there, i'm sorry. i know everything's my fault. i aint good at all.
i really wonder why some STUPID BIASED people wants some CHILDISH UNCIVILISED RUDE bitch for a girlfriend. come on la, that fucking woman is nothing but an ammonia molecule. if i see her on the street, i'm gonna slap her face. nevermind, i hope her dearest boyfriend will fuck her to death. tonight. damn. i'm sorry if you're on neutral ground or what, i was wrong to think good abt you. i hope both of you break, just like what you did to us. fuck you.
you caused me to hate this world. and hate you even more.
absence makes the heart fonder. did i hear you right,
i'm really tired. energy's all drained out. i long for a good long sleep. apparently, timetable's out. hell, here comes the struggles of the night.
was late for pe today. mrpoon made us run 8 rounds ard the old cedar field as punishment. tripped and fell real hard. the old cedar track is like tar road?! my right knee was like scraping against the ground. and now, my knee looks ugly. ouch.
poon said she dont feel like i'm a track and field athlete. when did i ever say i am one?! HAHAHA. sorry, i cant wait to stop training once and for all.
history test for killer. dont want to talk much abt it.
susan cried today! apparently she teared la. i dont feel sorry for her though, what a principal!
almost here,
perhaps i should reflect upon myself. for being so mean and heartless.
some snapshots of pretty lady and me.



i think i suck as the house capt. anyway, i'm irresponsible.
i sense a moodswing coming. i want my wanru now!
darling, i miss you.
wanna be,
fame and popularity is definitely not my cup of tea. whatever label my sister is, certainly does not concern me. i live my life, and she lives hers. yes, i'm wif someone called WONG WANRU. happy now?! label: pure lesbian. is that okkaay wif everyone of you reading out there? i know you linked from amanda chin la. apparently, i'm taken. HA. (ps. cowards to tag at my sister's totally have no life.)
pL pple ask my sister. who am i wif? haha! okaayy. i'm high profile everywhere.
digressing, tomorrow's meet the parents. gonnie will complain abt my tight skirt to my parents. and mrs chew will tell them my handwriting tests her eyesight.
i know mr dd's yandao! i think so too. heh. miss you*
i hope you dont mind, i hope you dont mind. that i put down in words. how wonderful life is, now you're in the world. the song plays in the background. as i reflect upon the words, all i can say is, i love you.
jason has bad taste! JASON (dont know whats yr surname)! you got bad taste! you got bad taste you got nad taste. chants* got that?!?! so just forget okay? ha!you know what i'm driving at. =) take care, you BUNG.
how i wish i got mdmrum as my teacher. i can laugh for the whole period non-stop.
rae is complacent. i've lost 2kilos. that means, 41. i want to be below 40! and now i'm stuffing myself again. been eating like mad. i shall be on a serious diet from today onwards.
have you ever waited for a reply/message that will never seem to come? ponder upon that. it will bring you to realise, treasure everyone around you.
auditions went well. i'm sp glad.
tonnes of homework piled up for the weekend! grrrrr.
i'm lonely. so lonely. =(
thequeenofles: so like your sister! she's a bitch, btw. a downright bitch! a lesbian too! cant stand lesbians like this! freak me out!
this was tagged in my sister's blog. HUH! do i have anti-rae(s) like all over the world or something? a downright bitch. haha.i admit i'm one. sorry for the person above, but calling you a bitch will certainly be an insult to me, you downright slut.
everything of my mood is just so spoiled. damn that person.
april fools. an attempt to faint during the first period became hilarious. scolding from leong for pretending that we didnt see her in class, which was meant to be a prank. wanted to trick gonnie that wenxin's pregnant. elicia backout last minute. pout!
i feel so much better blabbering so much abt mariepig to jessica. plus a conversation wif my baby. sighs! i certainly feel marie is a suckup pig! i seriously feel that if i flaunt my figure to her, she'll feel that she shouldnt exist in this world. its just that i dont wear revealing clothes not like her. i feel comfortable in my shirt and jeans. at least i'm skinny. (for this very once, i shall admit.) the thought of marie makes me want to puke my dinner out!
audition tomorrow. i'm scared.
Rachel / Rae
24th nov 1989
raeraerae_@hotmail.com
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